I was searching for an old post on my LiveJournal that I wanted to share with my cousin, and I started reading old posts. I read this old post and almost cried. I wrote a post called “I live, I die” on March 10th, 2004. This is an excerpt: "I am feeling very lethargic. I think it's the meds I am on. Ive had some pretty horrid thoughts lately. I wont follow through with it though.

Today my son was complaining about how he hates being forced to read books, that it took all the pleasure out of them. Finally I had found a way to pounce on him and tell him about my love for Mark Twain! I too had the same sanitized version of Twain drilled in to me (in the very high school that my son attends). It wasn’t till I read “Letters From The Earth” that my view of Twain changed radically.

Ever been complimented and offended at the same time? I hadn't, until today... A woman I didn't know asked me: "So when are you due?" As in pregnant! :p

I’m not sure why, but I’m really excited about the October 12th release of Elizabeth, The Golden Age. [youtube www.youtube.com/watch Maybe it’s because my mom’s side are Doughertys (Irish) and my dad’s side are Abernatheys/Abernathys (Scot), but there’s something about that time and place in history that pulls at me. Then again, maybe it’s just the sepreme acting of Cate Blanchett and Geoffrey Rush. Whatever the reason, I can’t wait for it to come out.

Because I had to go pay my electric bill, I made a detour after I paid my bill and went to the Indianapolis Museum of Art. I took this pic while i was waiting for the tour on Asian art… I love tours so much more than just walking around. It gives you so much more texture and history behind the art. Even the grounds are beautiful… All you need is…

Well, kinda. I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally want to go see “Jerry Springer: The Opera.” I mean…who can resist dancing Klansmen: [youtube=www.youtube.com/watch I’m so there. :) It opens in Chicago May 14th.

:) I love this, in an embarrassing, no shit, acknowledgment kinda way. [youtube www.youtube.com/watch

[youtube www.youtube.com/watch

Post of the day goes to one of my favorite local bloggers, Steph Mineart: "In reality, religious people seem more obsessed with anal intercourse than gay people are. So here's the thing, for all you religious homobigots out there - it's not about the butt sex. Really. And if you so obsessed with it, please just go off and do it yourself, rather than trying to bash us because of your obsessions with your own sphincter.

Maybe that’s denegrating poop, I’m not sure. From Jen at Transcending Gender: "On 'The Situation with Tucker Carlson', MSNBC host Tucker Carlson made defamatory comments about Lily McBeth, a transgender New Jersey substitute teacher. In reporting on McBeth’s story Carlson said, 'I’m pretty tolerant of whatever people want to do, very tolerant, in their private lives. If men want to dress up like women that’s fine. I think it’s dorky, but you know, it doesn’t hurt me.

Writing a response to a hateful, bigoted blogger, the words of Gandhi came to mind. "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians." “Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. I consider western Christianity in its practical working a negation of Christ’s Christianity.” “It is my firm opinion that Europe does not represent the spirit of God or Christianity but the spirit of Satan. And Satan’s successes are the greatest when he appears with the name of God on his lips.

From Anarcho-Judaism: It is difficult to be human. It’s scary. Because in fact we are alone, we never really get to fully know anybody—not even ourselves. At the most we can touch, for a moment, the mystery that other lives are, for a moment of love, friendship, ideological or artistic or spiritual communion, sexual pleasure. But only barely. Then we are again alone, we will die and we have no way of knowing what happens to us half an hour from that moment.

Talk of Jefferson and the seperation of church and state dominated this weekend’s “Meet The Press.” I have to laugh about their talk of the founders. If you dig into Jefferson, you cannot deny the seperation of church and state. “The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God.

A comment by a fellow Alumni of my high school, "after the reunion, i see that we have all changed. apparently not as much as marty abernathy. whatever floats ones boat, or words to that effect...." Not really sure if that's a dig, or not. Pffffffffft. I don't care, it made me laugh. Some things, like sense of humor, just get better with age.

Bill Hicks is still relevant today. It’s just a ride, and we can change it any time we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

Sheesh. Let’s go to the Ole Myspace mailbag, shall we? “hey babe, my names john, i am a 22 yr old from chicago. I am very outgoing and willing to try anything once. I am a chef and curently going to culinary school. I have pics, but for now i am 5'7'' tan athletic body brn eyes n hair 150 pnds, and italian. I just wanted to tell you that you are georgeous and i’d love to talk to u.

:) Yes Daphne… I hate and love you at the same time for turning me on to this site…. these are the cutest shoes EVER. and these are a close second.

I wish I could live in the moment and not regret I’m not sure how to make it stop, the constant hum of sorrow. I’ve forgiven, and I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned I just don’t know how to live again, in this moment. This is my constant battle. To live, not just exist.

and see crap like this!!!! He died for you on a cross, now he’s coming after you with a sword!!! In other news…I have a new piercing… No, I’m not jaundice..it was the light :p

Hey there! Long time no see! :) You may have wondered why I’ve become silent for so long… or maybe you don’t give a shit ;) … but you’re gonna hear about my life anyways! First of all, there’s Nik. Nik moving in with me (he’s lived with me since August) has drastically changed my amount of free time to blog. Not that I’m complaining, as I’m very proud of him.

Masson’s Blog recently posted about Republicans and Democrats being at each other’s throats and the prisoner’s mentality that has manifested itself here locally. I think that description applies pretty aptly to the local blogosphere here in Indiana. It reminded me of a recent post over at Taking Down Words blog titled “Law License Flap: When To Let A Story That Really Isn’t Much Of A Story Go.” I’ll let the content of the post speak for itself, but the ensuing orgy of insults disgusted me… and these people are on MY SIDE!

Every so often, when someone exposes their life, their struggle, their path through life, it helps another person through the struggles they face. For me, Erin Hamilton was that person. With the implosion of my life in 2000, I started questioning everything in my life that I’d taken for granted was my truth. For the next few years, I struggled to find out who I was, where I wanted to go, and how I should get there.

"If we tackle these problems the wrong way, then while today there is one bin Laden, after a few years there will be ten bin Ladens. And it is possible that after a few more years, there will be 100 bin Ladens." - liberal commie terrorist Dalia Lama in a January 2006 interview with "The Progressive Magazine."

I’m continually amazed at why people are afraid “to call a spade a spade.” The Washington Post reported Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia recently rebuked the Courts ruling overturning anti-sodomy laws. He said jokingly that “sexual orgies eliminate tension and ought to be encouraged,” but said that judges and lawyers don’t “reflect the views of the people” and shouldn’t be deciding the morality of behavior. The article refers to Scalia as a “strict constructionist,” which on its face is idiotic.

My blood boils when I read crap from illogical, immoral, blind followers of President Bush. This is the cost of the real cost of war… (hat tip to Free Iraq by way of A Citizen Of Mosul) Precise collateral damage my ass…. Try to stop seeing these people as “towel heads” or “A-Rabs.” Look at them as parents… look past your own ass, and you might understand why I don’t support this war.