Chasing Amy’s Heart

Today I watched “An Evening With Kevin Smith.” Kevin wrote and directed such movies as “Clerks,” “Dogma,” and “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.” One of movies he made was “Chasing Amy.” When watching “An Evening” the lesbian issue came up when a person named Lala self identified herself as a lesbian. She asked Kevin if he was perpetuating “the myth” that all a lesbian needs is a good man to turn them straight. Honestly, this kind of question pisses me the fuck off. I’m not pissed at Kevin Smith, but the tight asses that get their panties in a bunch because of this movie. A synopsis at Kevin’s site explains it best:

“I wanted to make the film,” Smith further explains, “to further explore how two people’s love for one another can alter their own perceptions about themselves. What and who we think we and others are changes all the time. Points of view, obsessions, insecurities, everything shapes our self-image. Although Alyssa says she is gay, she doesn’t feel constrained by her sexual orientation. So, is she by definition gay? My gay friends say no. She couldn’t fall in love with Holden if she were. OK, then what is she? Is she what she thinks she is or what Holden thinks she is, or none of the above?”

“You can’t judge her,” he continues. “She’s still experimenting with her life, making up her mind who she is. She’s made her choices and will make others. I can empathize with both of them but Alyssa is the stronger of the two. She walks into the situation with her eyes open while Holden’s vision is narrowed by his limited perspectives and experiences.” Says Smith: “Holden hasn’t figured it all out yet. Alyssa is in the process of learning it.”

I get miffed when lesbian identified women make derogatory comments about the movie. Kevin’s perspective focuses on love, while their perspective is one that would make this simply a genetics debate. Out of this foolish debate is where the idea that bisexuality doesn’t exist comes from.

There are people in this world that look for love, not just a penis or a vagina. We aren’t confused. We aren’t lying.

If we are male and decide to be in a relationship, is it not a gay relationship? A couple in our local Bi group is a lesbian couple. Are they not in a lesbian relationship because one of them self identifies as bisexual but isn’t practicing?

I refuse to feel the need to justify my transsexuality or my sexual orientation to anyone. If I chose to do something that helps me to live a healthy, productive life, how is that anyone else’s business? If I love myself, and I’m loved… how is that a bad thing?

So ya… bisexuals do exist.

Gays, lesbians, and heterosexuals, please do me a favor…get the fuck over it.

Robin Hood

As I was getting ready for work, I sat at my PC and talked with onr of my favorite LJ’ers, angiewarhol, about “The Justice League”, and it somehow fired a synapse that triggered a memory about my childhood.

I get very few crystal clear glimpses of my past and my transsexuality. Usually, it is just a warm memory that is fuzzy at best. For some reason, tonight, I remembered a theatrical presentation of Robin Hood that my 3rd-grade class (not sure exactly sure of the grade)  was presenting. As one of the merry men of Robin’s troup, I had to wear tights. This made me extremely uncomfortable! How weird to feel that same uncomfortableness all these years later!  I can still taste the anxiety and dread….. I was worried that someone might figure out my hidden desire. Wearing those tights made me feel things I would rather not feel. Looking back, I felt pretty, feminine, and soft when I wore the tights. Those were feelings a young boy in a family of homophobes and bigots shouldn’t feel. Too bad that little boy/girl wasn’t allowed to express who she was…

Its taken her 35 years, and she is still trying to crawl out from under than shame. The difference is, that she has loving, supportive people around her now. 🙂