Robin Hood

As I was getting ready for work, I sat at my PC and talked with onr of my favorite LJ’ers, angiewarhol, about “The Justice League”, and it somehow fired a synapse that triggered a memory about my childhood.

I get very few crystal clear glimpses of my past and my transsexuality. Usually, it is just a warm memory that is fuzzy at best. For some reason, tonight, I remembered a theatrical presentation of Robin Hood that my 3rd-grade class (not sure exactly sure of the grade)  was presenting. As one of the merry men of Robin’s troup, I had to wear tights. This made me extremely uncomfortable! How weird to feel that same uncomfortableness all these years later!  I can still taste the anxiety and dread….. I was worried that someone might figure out my hidden desire. Wearing those tights made me feel things I would rather not feel. Looking back, I felt pretty, feminine, and soft when I wore the tights. Those were feelings a young boy in a family of homophobes and bigots shouldn’t feel. Too bad that little boy/girl wasn’t allowed to express who she was…

Its taken her 35 years, and she is still trying to crawl out from under than shame. The difference is, that she has loving, supportive people around her now. 🙂

  • By Jen Burke, April 9, 2007 @ 2:39 pm

    Memories like this are so haunting . . . Funny what we can know about ourselves, perhaps only in a shadowed, non-verbal way, at so young an age.

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