Its getting close to a year of me not seeing you. N- Mom told me that you no longer want to speak to me. I understand that you must be very mad at me. I hope some day you can see how hard all this has been for me. I didnt just decide one day that I wanted to switch my gender. Being a transsexual is the last thing that I wanted in my life.
D.- Every day that passes..I know you a little bit less. Dont take that not knowing as not caring. I love you more today than I ever have. I hope you know that someday.
N.-Son, I know your confused, and prolly embarrassed about your Dad. This isnt ever easy. Know that I love you, and miss you. I will always love you, and NEVER judge you.
T.- time passes…and you grow!
As a young boy not quite eight years old, I set off to run away from home. My mother had made me eat cole slaw and forbid me to watch my favorite superhero, Wonder Woman. I had had enough, so I started packing. I found my mom’s curler carrier. It was one of those hard brown leather cases with the mirror attached to the top. With my mom’s curler box emptied of all her plastic curlers, I replaced them with all my Star Wars action figures, my Evil Kenevil and Fonzie dolls, and a few other prized possessions.
Kids, today is Thanksgiving, and by all rights, I have very little to be thankful for. I dont see you anymore, and I speak to you rarely. One thing I am thankful for is your existance. I hope someday that you can understand how hurt I am, and how much I do love you. I am a piece of trash that some want to throw away and act as if I dont exist.
Talked to N and D today…how I miss you! N..damn son…..you sound so…old. I guess that means im getting old too! D, you sounded so confident…..thats a great change..Im glad you like school. Seeing you again has kept me going the last few weeks…someday my beautiful children…someday soon! I love all of you. I hope some day you will both understand why things had to be this way…and things will get better…I promise.
Hi D, I sent you a battery for your barbie car. Every day that passes, my heart breaks a bit more….my children I love you all……I am trying to work towards being able to see you….N, D and T…I think of you every day. I hope you know at some point in your life, how much I love you.
Dad
D- I think about you every day. It makes me laugh, and cry, because I remember who you were…but I dont know you now. Wish I could be more in your life. I love you and miss you more than you’ll ever know.
Daddy
N-Gonna see if I can call you this weekend from work…I love you so much and miss you very much. I have spent much of this week preparing for my new web site release. Got some pics from mom, gawd..you look too damn much like me! I love you son. Dad
T…………..I am so proud of you! Not worrying of being short now R u? I love your strong spirit. LOL…its funny, its the spirit that ive seen in your Aunt J. I wish there were some way to make this all better. The only thing that keeps me alive somedays is the thought that someday we will be together….Your a great person…never try and be someone your not….you rob others of knowing you…and you attract people that love you for something your not.
D….saw some pics of you from your 6th birthday…..I miss you so much. I misss you hugs….and you sitting on my lap. My heart aches….someday my daughter….we shall see each other…..
This is my living monument to my children. Im not sure how you wandered here….but if your one of my children…I love you. Read on.
This is a place for me to post info and thoughts for my kids….as I cannot see them anymore. My simple crime is being a transsexual….In Indiana I guess that is a strong enough crime to warrant you not to see your own flesh and blood.