All That I've Let In, I'm Blessed Beyond Belief
I’ve always found great joy in music, but there are few songs that impact me to such an extent that I cry the first time I hear them. Tonight I heard the following song did: All That We Let In - Indigo Girls
“Dust in our eyes our own boots kicked up Heartsick we nursed along the way we picked up You may not see it when it’s sticking to your skin But we’re better off for all that we let in
Lost friends and loved ones much too young So much promises and work left undone When all that guards us is a single center line And the brutal crossing over when it’s time
Oooooooo (I don’t know where it all begins) Oooooooo (And I don’t know where it all will end) Oooooooo (We’re better off for all that we let in)
One day those toughies will be withered up and bent The father son the holy warriors and the president With glory days of put up dukes for all the world to see Beaten into submission in the name of the free
We’re in a nevolution I have heard it said Everyone’s so busy now but do we move ahead The planets hurting and atoms splitting And a sweater for your love you sit there knitting
Oooooooo (I don’t know where it all begins) Oooooooo (And I don’t know where it all will end) Oooooooo (We’re better off for all that we let in)
See those crosses on the side of the road Tied with ribbons in the medium They make me grateful I can go this far Lay me down and never wake me up again
Kim writes a poem and she sticks it on my truck We don’t believe in war and we don’t believe in luck The birds were calling to her what were they saying As the gate blew open the tops of the trees were swaying
I’ve passed the cemetery walk my dog down there I read the names in stone and say a silent prayer When I get home you’re cooking supper on the stove And the greatest gift of life is to know love
Oooooooo (I don’t know where it all begins) Oooooooo (And I don’t know where it all will end) Oooooooo (We’re better off for all that we let in)”
I heard this song right after hearing “No Day, But Today” from the Rent Soundtrack. It just reinforces to me the truth I’ve found here. I feel at home. I feel at home in my skin, and I feel at home in terms of location. Every single second of my life is a gift I treasure. I can’t believe how many times I wanted to die. Even at its worst, life is so full, so rich, and so worth living. I try to express this to the people I love and it never seems that I can ever explain it in a way that fully encapsulates how much I love them and my life here. But I’m no fool, I know that no matter how much I want to stay in this space, in this place forever, time moves on. All I can do is try to be as present as much of the time as possible. Sooner or later I will be taken away from them or they will be taken away from me. That’s just how life is. But right now it’s beautiful and I’m grateful.