{ "version": "https://jsonfeed.org/version/1", "title": "Midwest on Marti Abernathey", "icon": "https://www.gravatar.com/avatar/a65647c633168fccd9a98104bb2f2e7b?s=96&d=https%3A%2F%2Fmicro.blog%2Fimages%2Fblank_avatar.png", "home_page_url": "https://martiabernathey.com/", "feed_url": "https://martiabernathey.com/feed.json", "items": [ { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2025/10/25/back-home-again-in-indiana.html", "title": "Back Home Again in Indiana (NOT)", "content_html": "

I recently went over to my Alumni group for my high school and one of the moderators posted a topic starter “What’s the biggest” change in the world since graduation?”

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This was an answer:

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Honestly, it just reminds me of the trash heap of humanity that I grew up in, don’t miss, and how ignorant and small people can be.

\n", "date_published": "2025-10-25T22:26:58+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2025/10/25/back-home-again-in-indiana.html", "tags": ["Indiana","MyStory","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2017/01/12/understanding-privilege-in.html", "title": "Understanding Privilege in Atheist Spaces", "content_html": "\n

The genesis of this post is from a comment I left on The Thinking Atheist Podcast page. The host, Seth Andrews, invited various people on his podcast to talk about \"Trigger Warnings and Safe Spaces.\" One of the guests was Bill Ligertwood, a conference organizer with the Imagine No Religion conference

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So here's where I come from. I'm a white trans woman. I'm middle class. I went to college before transition and have a decent life making decent money. I don't worry for much in terms of material things. I lived and grew up in mainly white culture (my grandfather was a Klansman). I never met another transgender person (the opposite of transgender is cisgender) until after I transitioned. Being a trans woman, I was male-identified at birth. Up to the point of transition, I'd been enmeshed in men's culture. Positionally in terms of socialisation, I was seen as a member of \"white cis bro culture.\"

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Living in Indiana, I was one of those \"libertarian\" Republicans that believed life was a level playing field and that if you just applied yourself, you'd succeed. This wasn't a belief I had tested or reasoned; it was just a feeling I had. Back then, talk of privilege wasn't commonplace in my circle of friends. I certainly didn't spend any of my time thinking about it. When I transitioned, I lost cisgender, heterosexual and male privilege and had to actually confront the loss of something I didn't think existed.

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So when I'm talking about \"white cis bro culture\", it's essentially a discussion about white, cisgender, heterosexual, male privilege. It's not just displayed at atheist conferences but in the atheist community as a whole.

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The last atheist conference I attended was the Secular Women's conference, but I stay way away from conferences for the most part because they are rife with white cis-het bro culture.

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I don't go to conferences that invite Michael Shermer, Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, or Lawrence Krauss as guests. Not because I have a problem with their scepticism, but a problem with their displays (Shermer, Dawkins, Krauss, Harris) of sexism/misogyny/islamophobia.

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From the interview:

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Andrews: \"You wanted to weigh in on this because you have an opinion, a perspective. You approached me and said 'I want to talk about the challenges that I'm facing in this culture when it comes to conference organisation.' You're finding it harder to do what you do, in what you might call an 'offence culture.\" A 'taking offence' culture. You want to flesh that out for me?\"

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Ligertwood: \"Yea, sure. Well, we're talking about safe spaces, and what we're trying to do, obviously, at a conference is create one. We're trying to create a safe space for people of our persuasion. In other words, unbelievers, atheists, what have you, a place where they can come and not be worried about someone finding out, ot worried about someone that's going to take a strip off them because they're not believers. So that's, first of all that's what I think we're trying to do. What makes that really difficult now is that it doesn't seem to take much to make it is that actually quite safe, unsafe just because somebody takes offence to something that one of the speakers said once in a tweet or whatever, years ago, months ago, days ago, hours ago, it doesn't really matter. It just seems like people take offence to almost anything these days and it seems like once you go off the path, once you go stray from the dogma, which is what I thought we were all interested in doing, is straying from the dogma. But once you stray from this new dogma, you're in the out group. People will boycott our event. People will boycott anything you're at are because you said something or someone said something about you and it's instantly, yeah, the safe spaces isn't safe anymore, so people won't come.\"

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\n\n\n

Taking that apart, I read that as:

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\"Just because Dawkins made sexist comments with 'Muslima,' people shouldn't boycott our conference if we invite him.\"

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First off, a boycott is a form of free speech. Secondly, dogma is misused here by Ligertwood. According to Merriam-Webster, dogma is:

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It seems like Ligertwood is using 1a and c in reference to his point. Fleshing that out in the context of Dawkin's Muslima comments makes no sense. What is the dogma here? Is it the \"new dogma\" to acknowledge sexist tweets of thought leaders in the atheist/sceptic movement?

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There's an underlying message that Dawkins is a magic man with knowledge so unique, it can only be gained by listening to him. That may have been true in 1975, but it isn't now. I've stated before that there seems to be a Jekyll and Hyde side to Dawkins. Attendance at a conference (or buying of a book of his, for that matter) supports both his Jekyll and his Hyde. There's the brilliant evolutionary biologist who wrote \"The Selfish Gene.\" But then there's the crotchety old grandpa who will tell you that sexism isn't that bad because Muslim women in Saudi Arabia can't drive or that \"mild paedophilia\" isn't harmful.

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I don't buy cakes from bakers who won't make wedding cakes for gay men for the same reason (no matter how delicious they are). That isn't a rejection of the baker's confectionary skill, but their bigotry. There are plenty of other \"bakers\" in the atheist community that are not sexist that I can (and do) give my time/audience with/money to.

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Ligertwood seems to be angry that people will \"boycott\" his conference because of \"tweets.\" He seems angry that another person's free speech (boycott) will make his job of conference organizing harder. Given that conferences generally cost to attend and are not mandatory, I'm not sure where his beef is with me exercising my own free will over my own pocketbook. Yes, I'm an atheist, but I value my own time, talent, and treasure enough to take it to places and spaces that value me. Mr Ligertwood won't have to worry about catering to me for his conference. I'll stick with listening to my favourite atheist podcasts (The Thinking Atheist, The Atheist Experience), reading Greta Christina, and supporting people involved with Secular Women. That's as far as I'll dip my toes in the atheist community because I don't have to do any more than that. Support isn't something atheist communities or conferences are owed.

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Atheists are a marginalised community, even though it's hard for many cis white men to comprehend. The only thing I can work out with Ligertwood is that his frustration might stem from his own privilege. There is such a thing as \"Christian privilege\", and those things impact atheist's lives.  The truth is hard for white cisgender men who have never had to face up and acknowledge their own privilege in other areas. Would Ligertwood be against atheists who refuse to shop at Hobby Lobby or eat Chick-fil-A? Boycotts are a powerful change agent. But Ligertwood's words seem to express that old saying that \"when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.\"

\n\n \n", "date_published": "2017-01-12T14:37:07+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2017/01/12/understanding-privilege-in.html", "tags": ["Indiana","Transgender","Podcast","MyStory","LGBTQ","USPolitics","Religion","Books","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2015/01/02/suicide-leelah-alcorn.html", "title": "Suicide, Leelah Alcorn, and Living Openly Trans*", "content_html": "

I’ve kept quiet much for the last few months because I’ve been mourning a loss, the equal I can only compare losing my father at age 11. I’m not going to share the particulars of this loss because it doesn’t really matter in the context of this post, and secondly because it’s extremely personal. But emotionally I’ve been hampered a bit in just getting by day to day. I’m just trying to work out a plan for my future and try to do all the things people do when they’re mourning a huge loss. Trying to move on when you don’t really want to.

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The holidays haven’t made it any easier. My circle of friends in Madison, Wisconsin is small. This is the first Christmas without my partner. I’ve just been putting my head down, going to work, and trying to make it through.

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And then I read the suicide note of a trans teen, Leelah Acorn. Her parents tried Jesusing the the trans out of her to the point she killed herself. Some cis-gender (not trans*) people (especially those people that can’t bring themselves to call trans women, women but feel the need to call them “penised individuals") have suggested that it’s irresponsible to post Leelah’s suicide note.

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This is thorny territory for me personally. When I read it, it did trigger me. I’ve been pretty much staying away from social media the last few days because of her suicide. In her suicide note she said:

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\"I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.\"
\nThat part of her note pierced through me like a knife. I understand her pain, because I feel like I am the embodiment of the comments of her future. I'm a visibly trans woman that struggles every day. As I said to a friend after this story broke:\n
\"I'm not clinically depressed or having suicidal ideation. I'm currently mourning a loss and been having dysphoria related issues lately. Basically I'm the person she said she didn't want to live to be. That was a huge punch to the gut.\"
\nand\n
\"I'm not saying it for hugs or attention (but thanks for the love), but that it's just hard. Especially what she said about it not getting better. If you don't have cis-privilege, life is fucking hard being openly trans.\"
\nBut I don't think it's irresponsible to publish her note. I think it's wise and compassionate to warn people with \"trigger warnings\". But for someone that routinely fights for the right to exclude trans women from \"female only\" spaces without one shred of evidence that trans women are a threat (regardless of their genital status), I find Ditum's words to be both disingenuous and oppressive.\n

Irresponsible? That would be the Philadelphia Gay News publishing a story about an underage child’s genitals. Irresponsible would be the Statesman asking a TERF who openly mocks trans women to write a piece on a trans child’s suicide.

\n

The answer to transphobia that leads to suicide isn’t more transphobia. The answer to transphobia isn’t silence. Not talking about it isn’t going to make it go away. Trans reparative therapy isn’t going to suddenly go away on its own. It needs to be talked about and people need to know how awful and destructive it is.

\n

She says:

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“Trans lives matter. We know that transgender people are at particular risk of suicidal thoughts. So why are people endorsing and sharing material that, if it has any effect at all, is likely to be the catalyst for a trans youth to attempt suicide?”

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Ditum’s pity feels a lot like the pity trans people get from Focus on the Family. She knows that trans people are at particularly at risk for suicidal thoughts, but never seems to ask why. I’m suffering every day as a visibly trans person, and it’s not because I’m mentally ill or because I’m diagnosed with any sort of depression. It’s because being visibly trans in this world IS A HARD LIFE. It’s because there are people that other us, disrespect us, and objectify us on a daily (and sometimes hourly) basis.

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The answer isn’t silence, it’s education. The answer isn’t fear mongering, mis-gendering, or “gender nerd snark”, it’s treating trans people with respect and human dignity. It boils down to just letting trans people live their lives authentically without being attacked for who they are. Ditum and folks like her aren’t part of the answer, they’re part of the problem.

\n \n", "date_published": "2015-01-02T12:37:57+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2015/01/02/suicide-leelah-alcorn.html", "tags": ["Activism","Wisconsin","Family","Transgender","MentalHealth","MyStory","LGBTQ","SocialMedia","Religion","Midwest","TERFs"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2010/11/26/looking-in-the.html", "title": "Looking In the Rear View, Giving Thanks", "content_html": "

Tonight is an anniversary for me as well as Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving 2003 was one of the lowest points in my life. I had recently moved to Washington DC and had a one bedroom apartment that was baren. It had a bed (from the previous owner), a small kitchen table, and that was all for furniture. The previous year had seen me lose visitation to both my son and my daughter because I was trans. I was in a new city with very few friends. I had no one that I considered close enough to spend Thanksgiving day with. So I filled my day with laundry and prepped for my daily trans talk show. Somewhere in the middle of that I had a breakdown. I was crying, depressed, and really didn’t want to live anymore. Life without my children was something I could barely tolerate. The only thing that kept me alive was the memory of how I felt about my dad killing himself (he drank himself to death when I was 11). I thought my kids would rather have a transsexual father that they didn’t see than a dead one. In the pain of that moment I tried to find something to be thankful for. That day I wrote one of my first blog posts on Blogger.com. I said:

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\nThankful\n\nKids, today is Thanksgiving, and by all rights, I have very little to be thankful for. I dont see you anymore, and I speak to you rarely. One thing I am thankful for is your existance. I hope someday that you can understand how hurt I am, and how much I do love you. I am a piece of trash that some want to throw away and act as if I don't exist. I am, and will always be, your Dad.
\nI made it through that day and continued to struggle with depression and daily existence. But life did slowly get better (2004, 2008).  Like a coronary artery bypass, the scars from my past won't ever disappear. But I have healed.\n

Many things were  the same  today as they were on that day in 2003.  I was alone, I didn’t have my kids with me,  and I spent the  day trying  to avoid “Thanksgiving”. But it’s no 2003. I have so much to be grateful for. I have a wonderful life here in Madison. I have people here I consider family,  an amazing  job with fantastic coworkers, and an  amazing son back  in  Indianapolis  that is following his dream.

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I am thankful every day for the people  in  my life. And I’m grateful that you are here to read this. I am blessed.

\n", "date_published": "2010-11-26T11:41:35+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2010/11/26/looking-in-the.html", "tags": ["Indiana","Family","Transgender","MentalHealth","MyStory","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2010/03/26/my-klansman-poppy.html", "title": "My Klansman Poppy Taught Me How To Love Republicans", "content_html": "\n
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Growing up in a super dysfunctional household, I had very little in the way of nurturing. Between working full time and regularly engaging in marital battles, my mom had little quality time with us kids. I spent a lot of time with my maternal grandmother and grandfather (who we affectionately called \"Granny\" and \"Poppy\"). Pop was a very mean man. I can remember times he would come home for supper, and if Granny didn't have the food on the table, he'd call her every expletive in the book (with \"bitch\" in 1st place). Granny often took to vent with me, telling me stories of how he'd been mean to her (especially the story of her catching him cheating).

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He was also one of the most racist men I've ever known. I can remember him yelling at the TV and turning it off when Emmanuel Lewis came on television, grumbling about how \"the n****rs were taking over the world.\" From what my mom has told me, he also was probably in the Klu Klux Klan. There were so many dark sides to my Poppy; it would be easy to hate him.

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But I don't. While I saw all the ugliness, I saw a side of him that made me love him. More than any person in my young life, he nurtured me. He would often spend time with me one on one, offering me a father figure rarely present at home. I can remember many trips he and I took to White Castle just to hang out and talk. When I would complain about how my parents treated me (a difference in how my parents treated me and my brother, Granny and Poppy both acknowledged), Poppy would tell me not to mind that. He would enthusiastically comfort me, saying, \"you are smart, and you are going to do amazing things with your life\". That may not sound very profound, but those words coming from Poppy were.  Those words have echoed in the back of my mind for the past 35 or so years, giving me strength.

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Pop taught me that people aren't one dimensional. While he was incredibly hateful to Granny, he was a loving and nurturing man to me. The duality of his life has made me look at people differently. Being a liberal Democrat on a Facebook account full of Indiana Republicans (mostly my Alumni from Southport High School), this skill has come in handy. I've been able to become good friends with people that are my ideological opposite. Poppy taught me to see the humanity in all people, and life taught me what Bernard Meltzer knew:

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“If you have learned how to disagree without being disagreeable, then you have discovered the secret of getting along -- whether it be business, family relations, or life itself.”

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*edit*

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I wrote this post in 2010. Eleven years has given me a lot of time to reflect on this. It's still true, mostly. But most of those people from high school I'm no longer friends with.

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I learned most of this navigating (and finally ending) my relationship with my mother. I don't have to agree with someone 100% to understand them, but I have some non-negotiable boundaries. I won't allow space in my life for people who:

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I understand the bigotry and narcissism that might drive someone to make this kind of statement on social media, but I don't have to accept that kind of toxicity in my life. That will get you a block on social media and in life.

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I can love the part of the person that wasn't toxic, that nurtured me and allowed me to grow into the person I am, without having to accept that person into my life now.

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Understanding the nature of human beings is pretty key in understanding and dealing with people in your life. People aren't all bad or all good. I can understand what drove Poppy to be the person he was without agreeing with or accepting his toxicity.

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When Poppy was six years old, his mother, Bessie, died of tuberculosis. A year later, his father married Pearl. His stepmother (Pearl) told him never to mention his mother (Bessie) ever again, that \"she was his mother now\". My step-dad (Russell) died when I was 11 (I thought he was my biological father until I found my bio dad a few years ago). And that messed me up for decades. That kind of trauma impacts your development as a person. Trauma is passed down like a virus, and it mutates. Poppy passed down his trauma to his kids through who he was. They impacted their kids too. It's not shocking that between his three kids, there are 8 marriages and a lot of mental illness.

\n\n\n

I considered changing the title of this post to \"My Klansman Poppy Taught Me How To Love Understand Republicans\", but you can't strikethrough a title. Also, I love the part of the man that nurtured me while despising the toxicity that dominated his life.

-Marti Abernathey August 2021

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\n\n", "date_published": "2010-03-26T10:41:24+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2010/03/26/my-klansman-poppy.html", "tags": ["Indiana","Racism","Family","Transgender","MyStory","SocialMedia","USPolitics","Books","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2010/01/01/home-is-where.html", "title": "Home Is Where Your Heart Is", "content_html": "

A friend of mine moved to Indianapolis, Indiana from New York because in his words, “Indianapolis feels like home.” As someone that’s always hated living in Indianapolis, I couldn’t understand how someone would WANT to move there. There are people I miss in Indianapolis, but I don’t miss the place itself. A year ago I moved to Wisconsin to be near my best friend. I now know what Danni was talking about. I’ve never felt this at home.

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[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch

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Home is where a light is left on until you get home.\nHome is morning tea with your best friend.\nHome is not locational, it is emotional.\nHome is the place where you are loved.

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For now, Middleton, Wisconsin is my home and I’m grateful.

\n

Happy New Year to you all.

\n", "date_published": "2010-01-01T23:22:44+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2010/01/01/home-is-where.html", "tags": ["Indiana","Wisconsin","MyStory","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2008/12/01/great-balls-of.html", "title": "Great Balls of Turkey!", "content_html": "

Late last Wednesday I started my trek across Indiana, Illinois, and Wisconsin to Madison for Thanksgiving. About 2 AM on Thanksgiving morning  I stopped at a 7/11 in Huntley, Illinois to take a restroom break and to get a java refill. When I brought my coffee and snacks up to the counter the cashier tried to make small talk, and said: “So did you just come from the Turkey Testicle Festival? "

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I said “excuse me? Are you joking?" He said, “No, tonight was the Huntley Turkey Testicle Festival, right down the road." I started to walk away and turned to him and said, “I’m really sorry I missed that! How unfortunate!" as I walked out the door.

\n

Who the hell else but me would stop in a town with a Turkey Testicle Festival?  What are the odds? You can read about it here and here. Life can be really amusing sometimes… especially when turkey testicle festivals are involved. The only thing that could of made it more amusing would have been Sarah Palin emceeing the event.

\n

Anyone hungry?

\n", "date_published": "2008-12-01T08:57:30+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2008/12/01/great-balls-of.html", "tags": ["MyStory","Humour","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2008/07/31/most-significant-teachers.html", "title": "Most Significant Teachers", "content_html": "

I recently wrote about my high school experience over at Classmates.com:

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I had so much bad stuff going on in my life, I came to school to get away from the drama at home. I really didn’t care to do the work (something I regret now). School was more of a social hour for me than anything else. But there were a few teachers that stood out for me. It took me 4 years to pass 10th and 11th grade English (if you count summer school as a year). One class I didn’t fail was Mrs. Stumpf’s 11th grade English. She saw through my troubled exterior and gave me the tools to become the writer/blogger that I am today. In my teen years I searched for an outlet to express myself and be creative. She gave me the tools to find it, and I’ll be forever grateful to her for that gift.

\n

Mr. Wright was another teacher that inspired me. It wasn’t so much how he taught or what he taught, but how he treated others. He taught through all the bullshit that was going in my life and inspired me enough to fall in love with American history and politics. He was strict in the classroom, but he was totally fair. I saw him recently and he hasn’t changed much at all. I’m sure he still talks about Cool Hand Luke and adores Ronald Reagan.

\n

I have to include Mr Hawkins as inspiration. It wasn’t on a positive note that he inspired me. He was kind of a nasty person. But one day I was looking for my girlfriend (Suzy Adamo) and I overheard Mr. Hawkins and another teacher comment about me. In reference to me he said, “oh, he’ll never amount to anything.” That and the fact that Suzy’s parents thought I’d never “become anything”, drove me in my twenties to do all the things I did that made me successful. They both filled me with the fear of being a failure in life. I also wanted, in the back of my mind, to prove them wrong. Those words and thoughts hurt me at the time, but I’m grateful for them now.

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These three teachers were the most significant to me because they all had one thing in common… impact. They cut through all my problems and spoke to my heart and inspired me to do and be a better human being. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

\n", "date_published": "2008-07-31T15:07:02+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2008/07/31/most-significant-teachers.html", "tags": ["Indiana","MyStory","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2007/08/10/asian-art-bills.html", "title": "Asian Art, Bills, and A Hot But Beautiful Day", "content_html": "

Because I had to go pay my electric bill, I made a detour after I paid my bill and went to the Indianapolis Museum of Art. I took this pic while i was waiting for the tour on Asian art…

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I love tours so much more than just walking around. It gives you so much more texture and history behind the art.

\n\"asian\n

Even the grounds are beautiful…

\n\"grounds\"\n

All you need is…

\n\"All\n

All in all a good, relaxing day.

\n", "date_published": "2007-08-10T23:41:52+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2007/08/10/asian-art-bills.html", "tags": ["Photos","Indiana","MyStory","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2006/10/26/myspace-the-new.html", "title": "MYSPACE: The New AOL", "content_html": "

Sheesh. Let’s go to the Ole Myspace mailbag, shall we?\n\n“hey babe,

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my names john, i am a 22 yr old from chicago. I am very outgoing and willing to try anything once. I am a chef and curently going to culinary school. I have pics, but for now i am 5'7'' tan athletic body brn eyes n hair 150 pnds, and italian. I just wanted to tell you that you are georgeous and i’d love to talk to u. Also i am very very bi curious. hehe. Could i have your yahoo id so we could chat more, or aol? Thanks hope to hear from you soon! - John”

\n

“YEA YEA YEA….

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I KNOW I DON’T KNOW YOU AND YOU DON’T KNOW ME. SO WE GOT THAT SETTLED. I WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO YOURS AND YOU ADDED TO MINE…. ADDING AS A FRIEND, I’AM NOT GOOD AT THIS….

\n

SO HOW DOES THAT SOUND! I KNOW I KNOW I’AM SORRY I COULD’NT SELL YOU INSURANCE WITH THAT STUFF.\nI KNOW! IT’S THE WAY YOU PUT THINGS MAINLY IN THE PART ABOUT YOUR SELF

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P.S MY NAME IS JEFF

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HOLLA BACK

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I REALLY WANT CHAT WITH YOU I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE\nSILLY . I FILL A BATTLE COMING ON————– BETWEEN WORDS\nJUST FOR FUN “

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“hi who are you doing tonight wanna chat hit me back -Gregg”\n\n“want 9 inches? - K-Bo”\n\nSheesh. No wonder good men are hard to find.

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But I saved the best for last….

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“hey i can accept you being lesbian as long as your with me. sincerly ronnie i live in indy east side 632-2XXX” - Ronnie

\n", "date_published": "2006-10-26T09:19:40+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2006/10/26/myspace-the-new.html", "tags": ["Indiana","MyStory","LGBTQ","SocialMedia","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2006/08/01/wander-indiana.html", "title": "Wander Indiana", "content_html": "

and see crap like this!!!!

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He died for you on a cross, now he’s coming after you with a sword!!!

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In other news…I have a new piercing…

\n\n

No, I’m not jaundice..it was the light :p

\n", "date_published": "2006-08-01T01:24:02+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2006/08/01/wander-indiana.html", "tags": ["Photos","Indiana","MyStory","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2006/04/04/rishawn-and-abdul.html", "title": "Rishawn and Abdul", "content_html": "

Masson’s Blog recently posted about Republicans and Democrats being at each other’s throats and the prisoner’s mentality that has manifested itself here locally.

\n

I think that description applies pretty aptly to the local blogosphere here in Indiana. It reminded me of a recent post over at Taking Down Words blog titled “Law License Flap: When To Let A Story That Really Isn’t Much Of A Story Go.” I’ll let the content of the post speak for itself, but the ensuing orgy of insults disgusted me… and these people are on MY SIDE!

\n

Abdul-Hakim Shabazz and RiShawn Biddle were verbally assaulted in this thread to a point that makes my heart hurt.

\n

Example:

\n
\"abdul is a complete moron with a mouth bigger than his ego (if you can imagine that)...\"\n

“She owes you no explanation so shut the xxxx up.”

\n

“Beth = Matt Simmons, the moron who’s running Brizzi’s issueless negative campaign. (he’ll be about as popular as mike murphy by the time this is all done). He’s the same moron who’s running that dumb TDW-wannabe blog about Indianapolis. Zzzzzzzz.”

\n

“You guys are real thinkers…first guys, learn how to write. seriously, you guys are bad. Remember that scene from Top Gun…you stink!”

\n

“Are you billing the State for posting on the blog, Beth? Must be nice to get those insider blow job contracts!”

\n
\n

As my readers know, I’m about as liberal as they come… but when it comes to ad hominem attacks that’s where I draw the line.

\n

RiShawn and Abdul are both conservative pundits. RiShawn works for a conservative newspaper and Abdul works for the local extreme right wing AM talk radio station. At times I find RiShawn to be condescending and aloof. Abdul can be bullheaded and dogmatic… SO WHAT???? Neither resort to personal attacks to get their points across. RiShawn is VERY well read in statistical analysis and theory. Abdul will invite both sides of a topic to speak on his show and he lets both sides talk. It’s obvious to me that he’s got a bias, but he doesn’t let that bias affect the interview.

\n

I’ve had debates with both RiShawn and Abdul on their blogs. Neither have ever stooped to personally attack me. I’ve learned from both Abdul and RiShawn. They’ve challenged me to seek, to dig, to understand the topics that they post about.

\n

I know they have a bias going in… but so do I! There isn’t a person on this earth that doesn’t have some kind of bias, especially when it comes to things political. If a person thinks he’s not biased in some way or another he’s either a fool or a liar.

\n

I think an email response from Abdul says it best, “Good spirited debate is a great thing. It’s the only way to get to the truth. Let’s keep the dialogue going.”

\n", "date_published": "2006-04-04T11:27:51+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2006/04/04/rishawn-and-abdul.html", "tags": ["Indiana","MyStory","USPolitics","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/12/30/the-republican-utopia.html", "title": "The Republican Utopia", "content_html": "

Listening to Mitch Daniels answer questions on the radio on Wednesday night, he lost my vote in the next election. I’m quite the liberal/progressive when it comes to my political beliefs. Even so, last election I voted for Mitch Daniels for Governor. Why? The Kernan administration refused to discuss their position on gay marriage. Kernan kept saying that a marriage amendment wasn’t needed. I asked a direct question to the campaign as to where Governor Kernan stood if a marriage amendment was found to be “needed.” When pressed about this, the administration simply responded that the republicans were BAD and Democrats were GOOD. Mitch Daniels met with the gay community and addressed tough questions openly and honestly, which Governor Kernan refused to do. My thought process went something like “if Mitch was the same on marriage issues as Kernan, what is the difference between the two?” When I listened to both campaigns, I heard Mitch say what he planned on doing about the economy, about the state budget deficit, and property tax reform. Kernan just attacked Daniels about what he had done at while at Lilly’s, and IPL, but put forth no real plan to pull the state out of the financial gutter. I simply heard the campaign smear Daniels while not putting forth any new ideas. So I voted for Mitch….

\n

But after his first year in office I can say that I won’t vote for him again. He removed collective bargaining for state employees and spent way too much time on moving Indiana to Daylight Saving Time (and I might add that he’s not been following DOT regulations concerning the changes… before GW they called that breaking the law…). Those things were definitely nails in the coffin. But what nailed it shut was his comments at a Town Hall meeting broadcast on Network Indiana/WISH-TV on Wednesday night. When asked why he hadn’t asked for full day kindergarten, he responded that we just don’t have the money for it. He said that maybe we could do it once we’re out of debt. If this were a business, Mitch’s answer would be a good one. But state government shouldn’t be run like a business. The mistakes made in government don’t effect a bottom line, they effect peoples lives. A good example of Mitch’s “business approach” in government is found at his time as head of the Office of Management and Budget (the OMB sets the administration’s annual budget goals) in the first GW Bush administration. His nickname at the time was “The Blade.” In 2002, Mike Parker, the former head of the Army Corps of Engineers, was forced to resign over budget disagreements with Mitch. He said “One time I took two pieces of steel into Mitch Daniels office. They were exactly the same pieces of steel, except one had been under water in a Mississippi lock for more than 30 years, and the other one was new. The first piece was completely corroded and falling apart because of lack of funding. I said ‘Mitch, it doesn’t matter if a terrorist blows the lock up or if it falls down because it disintegrates – either way it’s the same effect, and if we let it fall down, we have only ourselves to blame.’ It made no impact on him whatsoever.” Studies have shown that full day kindergarten and Head Start programs improve learning for low-income families and children with disabilities. So what does Mitch see as the most important thing on the legislative agenda for the next year? Construction of the I-69 road project…?????? His reasoning is that building roads brings jobs to the state. What kind of jobs would be dependent on a interstate roadway? I doubt they’d bring in too many high paying tech jobs to the state.

\n

If you don’t invest money in children on the front end, how can you expect to develop a well educated, high tech work force in Indiana? Not funding all day kindergarten but funding a controversial road project is penny wise, pound foolish. I’m sorry Mitch, but our kids are worth more than a damn interstate. If you can’t see that then you’re not as smart as I thought you were. I’ll be smarter next time you’re up for reelection. Too bad they didn’t have all day kindergarten when I was a child. Maybe I wouldn’t have made the mistake of voting for you, Mr. Daniels.

\n", "date_published": "2005-12-30T16:28:22+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/12/30/the-republican-utopia.html", "tags": ["Indiana","Elections","MyStory","LGBTQ","USPolitics","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/12/26/jesus-said-love.html", "title": "Jesus Said \"LOVE!\"", "content_html": "

In response to the “No Comparison” blog entry at the Indy Star, “Joi” said

\n
\"my religious beliefs are against the act of homosexuality, but I LOVE YOU ANYWAY, just as Jesus loves you.\"
\n

S/he went on to say that

\n
\"HOWEVER, injustice is injustice. This country lacks a whole lot of LOVE and RESPECT! Why should I care who you choose to sleep with, just like why should you care about the color of my skin? It SHOULDN'T MATTER!!! NO ONE deserves to be discriminated against based on race or sexual orientation. PERIOD!\"
\n

I responded with the following email:

\n
\"AMEN! I can't believe how some Christians defend their hatred by use of scripture. It's reminiscent of how the Bible to defend slavery. Love and compassion aren't bound by law. Allowing hatred, bigotry, and discrimination to happen to anyone is and never has been love.\n

Arguing who has been discriminated worse, does not benefit anyone. Is there a difference in the murders of Mr. James Byrd Jr.( His throat was cut, then he was chained by his ankles to a pickup and dragged to pieces along three miles of road), Gwen Araujo (she was struck on the head with a soup can, then struck again with a frying pan so hard that the blow caused her head to make a hole through an adjacent wall. She was then taken to the garage and strangled with a rope, hog-tied, wrapped in a blanket, and placed in the bed of a pick-up truck. Four of the men drove her body to a wooded area in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada where she was finally buried in a shallow grave) or 15 year old Sakia Gunn ( who was murdered on the streets of Newark because she admitted to being a lesbian)? I think not.

\n

Martin Luther King Jr said"Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others?" In Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus Christ said much the same thing when he was asked what the greatest commandment was. He said ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

\n

Little else needs to be said."

\n

Little else besides the fact that S/he has given me hope that Christ’s love and compassion truly is manifested in a few Americans.

\n", "date_published": "2005-12-26T11:52:01+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/12/26/jesus-said-love.html", "tags": ["Indiana","MyStory","LGBTQ","Religion","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/12/03/mitch-loves-the.html", "title": "Mitch Loves The Jesus, Not The First Amendment", "content_html": "

Indiana Governor, Mitch Daniels, called the recent ruling on Christian prayer at the statehouse “regrettable.” He went on to say:

\n
\"I just think it's regrettable. \"It's in a long line now of, I think, confusing and sometimes clumsy attempts by the courts to insert themselves into this issue.\"
\n

Um, Mitch … the court wouldn’t of had to rule on this if Brian Bosma hadn’t pushed this. Singing “Just A Little Talk With Jesus"? Why not pass the plate and give communion! You could invite a different church choir each week to back you up.

\n

If anything is “regrettable” it’s that your Republican mates in the House don’t feel they can run on their record. It’s reprehensible that they find it necessary to use gays and Jesus to get reelected.

\n", "date_published": "2005-12-03T12:16:36+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/12/03/mitch-loves-the.html", "tags": ["Indiana","MyStory","USPolitics","Religion","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/10/25/salem-aint-got.html", "title": "Salem Aint Got Nothin on Indy!", "content_html": "

For you Indiana locals… did y’all catch the News at 6 on WRTV? Norm Cox did an interview with Pepper Partin about the planned protest at the The Annual Irvington Halloween Festival (you can read about the festival at Indyscribe ). The protest is being organized by Rock Indiana and is being dubbed “Indiana’s Witch Hunt.”

\n

The main focus of the protest is State Senator Patricia Miller (she is co-sponsoring the festival). Miller’s recent history of aggressively supporting and sponsoring legislation that is aimed directly at gays and lesbians in Indiana is obvious. A few weeks ago she authored the controversial “authorized reproduction” bill, but has a history of trying to oppress gays and lesbians. She also sponsored a bill would that would move university employees to a state health-care plan and limit benefits to state and university employees, their spouses and children, effectively removing domestic partner benefits. She also voted in favor of SJR7. But she isn’t just limiting herself to legislating gays and lesbians into oblivion. Her position as the executive director of the Confessing Movement (a radical conservative anti-gay movement within the United Methodist Church) allows her to oppress gays and lesbians every day. This “movement” seeks to root out ANY acceptance of GLBT from within the United Methodist Church. It’s obvious that this woman is obsessed with denying GLBT citizens in every facet of life. In the interview with Channel 6 she denied being a religious zealot, but I think Senator Miller’s actions speak louder than her words.

\n", "date_published": "2005-10-25T04:38:32+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/10/25/salem-aint-got.html", "tags": ["Activism","Indiana","MyStory","LGBTQ","Religion","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/10/22/the-pledge.html", "title": "The Pledge", "content_html": "

I wrote the following email to John Gregg, a local talk show host here on AM radio (WIBC).

\n

Hi,\nFirst of all, I’d like to say that even though I am sure we are philosophically at opposite ends of the spectrum (I’m a Green), I enjoy listening to your show on IBC.

\n

You read a quote of someone that advocated that this was a bad time to “take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance.”

\n

The Pledge was written by Reverend Francis Bellamy in 1892. Francis Bellamy was a Socialist Christian and did not include the words “under God” in the Pledge. “Under God” was not added to the pledge until 1954.It was a response to growth of communism. The genesis of adding “Under God” was from a sermon of Reverend Dr. George M. Docherty, a Presbyterian minister. He said “And I came to a strange conclusion. there was something missing in this Pledge, and that which was missing was the characteristic and definitive factor in the “American Way of Life.” Indeed, apart from the mention of the phrase, the United States of America, this could be the pledge of any Republic. In fact, I could hear little Muscovites repeat a similar pledge to their hammer and sickle flag in Moscow with equal solemnity, for Russia is also a Republic that claims to have overthrown the tyranny of kingship”

\n

You can read his full sermon here:\nwww.post-gazette.com/downloads…

\n

I do not believe that you can have a representative republic and theocracy at the same time. Jefferson said

\n
\"In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own.\"
\n

The founding fathers spoke to the separation of church and state… to list a few…

\n
Thomas Jefferson\n\"Our civil rights have no dependence upon our religious opinions more than our opinions in physics or geometry.\"\n

James Madison\n“The Civil Government, tho' bereft of everything like an associated hierarchy, possesses the requisite stability and performs its functions with complete success; whilst the number, the industry, and the morality of the Priesthood, and the devotion of the people have been manifestly increased by the total separation of the Church from the State.”

\n

John Adams\n“The substance and essence of Christianity, as I understand it, is eternal and enchangeable, and will bear examination forever, but it has been mixed with extraneous ingredients, which I think will not bear examination, and they ought to be separated.”

\n

Thomas Paine\n“As to religion, I hold it to be the indispensable duty of government to protect all conscientious protesters thereof, and I know of no other business government has to do therewith.”

\n
\nThe voice of our founding fathers rings quite clear on this subject. That isn't to say that I think we should simply go on what the founding fathers believed (if we did, blacks would still be slaves and women would be considered property under the eyes of the law). I do believe that this is a nation where the government is dedicated to be \"For the people, by the people, and of the people.\"\n

If we choose as a nation to move closer to a theocratic form of government, we should be honest and forthright about our intentions in doing so.

\n

I listen to you on the drive home from work (I work 3rds). I hope at some point I get home in enough time to call in!

\n

Be well,

\n

Marti Abernathey

\n", "date_published": "2005-10-22T18:04:12+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/10/22/the-pledge.html", "tags": ["Activism","Wisconsin","MyStory","Fediverse","Religion","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/07/13/gay-swedish-fiction.html", "title": "Gay Swedish Fiction By John Q Republican", "content_html": "

This entry is a favorite of mine from my LiveJournal

\n

Below is an article was in our local newspaper, “The Indianapolis Star.”

\n

Lori Borgman\nMarriage: It’s for kids' sake\nMarch 14, 2004

\n

If you want to peer into the crystal ball to see what family life will be like in the event we redefine marriage, look to Scandinavia. The equivalent of same-sex marriage has been legal for more than a decade, and the verdict is in – same-sex marriage has eroded the already rusty link in the chain between marriage and family.

\n

Marriage is passe in Norway, Denmark and Sweden. Marriage is so out of fashion that among those who do marry, some choose to keep it private to avoid embarrassment. Even more surprising, few homosexuals are taking advantage of same-sex unions. The heterosexual and homosexual marriage pool has shriveled so much that marriage and divorce statistics are difficult to interpret.

\n

Author Stanley Kurtz, who has been parsing the data coming from Scandinavia, says this much is crystal clear – any form of family is acceptable.

\n

Marriage is no longer seen as a precursor to parenthood. When heterosexual marriage is no longer seen as the norm, and marriage and parenthood are no longer seen as going hand-in-hand, married parenthood becomes an oddity. Disassociating heterosexual marriage from parenting is like splitting up the salt and pepper, but that’s exactly what has happened.

\n

In Scandinavia, marriage has ceased being a big event in most young men and women’s lives. Many Nordic beauties have bid farewell to chunky issues of Bride’s magazine, engagement rings and bridal showers. Marriage once signaled the hallmark of maturity in the journey of life. Today the mark of maturity in Scandinavia is having a baby.

\n

Couples become an item, birth a child and often live together for a year or so. Ultimately, however, couples can manage financially as individuals, so they tend to split and move to the next partner. And the next. It appears similar to that awful going-steady-and-breaking-up cycle of junior high, only with sex, and without end.

\n

Who bears the brunt of all these adults sailing in and out of relationships and unable to cast anchor? Hint: They tend to be short, have soft cheeks, big eyes and like to sleep with teddy bears.

\n

The majority of children in Sweden and Norway are born out of wedlock. Sixty percent of first-born children in Denmark have unmarried parents. An immense welfare state and state-run day care, funded by the enormous, albeit compulsory, generosity of taxpayers, attempt to fill the void of moms and dads, or moms and moms, and dads and dads, who opt not to tie the knot.

\n

Our own nation’s link between marriage and family has been showing signs of rust for several decades. Less than half of our twenty-somethings believe it is immoral to have a baby out of wedlock. We already lead the world in single parenthood and divorce. So is now the time to dismantle marriage even further? All quite possibly at the expense of our kids? One small step for man, one giant tumble for the children of tomorrow.

\n

Marriage under the best of circumstances is a mystery. Oh, let’s be honest. Some days it’s an outright miracle.

\n

You do not tinker with a social, legal and religious institution that has stood as a foundation to nations and cultures for centuries without risking serious repercussions.

\n

Whichever path we choose, we will all – married or unmarried, heterosexual or homosexual – live out the consequences, as will our children, our grandchildren and their children.

\n

In the words of Margaret Mead, “As the family goes, so goes the nation.”

\n

I responded to her with this….

\n

Let’s Be Honest, For The Kids’ Sake\nBy Marti Abernathey

\n

For the kids’ sake, let’s look at this logically with all the facts on the table. Mrs. Borgman insinuates that “The equivalent of same-sex marriage has been legal for more than a decade” in Norway, Denmark and Sweden. Not one same sex marriage has ever been performed in any of these countries. Denmark adopted a registered partnership law in 1989 that grants most of the benefits and obligations of marriage. Norway and Sweden have similar cohabitation laws as well. The only countries that same sex couples can legally marry are The Netherlands (April 1, 2001), Belgium (January 30, 2003), British Columbia (July 8, 2003), and Ontario (June 10, 2003).

\n

She continues on to suggest that “the verdict is in – same-sex marriage has eroded the already rusty link in the chain between marriage and family” and that “the heterosexual and homosexual marriage pool has shriveled so much that marriage and divorce statistics are difficult to interpret.” The insinuation is that gay marriage has caused the decline in the family and the separation of marriage and family. The studies figures show that only 2,372 gay couples had registered in nine years of the Danish registered partnership law in a country of 5.1 million people. In Norway (674 same sex couples registered out of 4.2 million people after four years) and Sweden (749 same sex couples registered out of 8.5 million people after four years) the number of couples that have registered against the total population are miniscule. Mrs. Borgman also neglects to add that registered partnerships in Scandinavia restrict or forbid adoptions or artificial insemination by gay couples! It’s curious that such a small percentage of couples have affected marriage so strongly. She and Mr. Kurtz both glaze over the increase in no-fault divorces, yet most studies suggest (no-fault divorces) have increased divorce 20 to 25 percent in the United States.

\n

So where does Mrs. Borgman get her data? This theory she espouses is from an article written by Stanley Kurtz, a research fellow at the Hoover Institution. The Hoover Institution is a conservative think tank that has strong ties to President Bush. Past or present fellows include; Richard Allen (United States National Security Advisor to President Ronald Reagan), George Shultz, Edwin Meese, Condolezza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, Thomas Sowell, Pete Wilson, Williamson M. Evers, John B. Taylor, and Newt Gingrich.

\n

The burning question in my mind is who exactly is Stanley Kurtz. Turns out Mr. Kurtz graduated from Haverford College (Haverford is a liberal arts college founded in 1833 by members of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers)) where he majored in comparative religion. Stanley Kurtz went on to study comparative religion at Harvard Divinity School as well. Does anyone else besides me see a problem here?

\n

She continues her diatribe saying “You do not tinker with a social, legal and religious institution that has stood as a foundation to nations and cultures for centuries without risking serious repercussions.” This argument sounds eerily familiar to the reasoning for a proposed amendment by Representative Seaborn Roddenberry of Georgia. Representative Roddenberry said that his amendment would uphold the sanctity of marriage. He said he took this action because some states have permitted marriages that are “abhorrent and repugnant.” He said he would like to “exterminate now this debasing, ultrademoralizing, un-American and inhuman leprosy.”

\n

He warned, “Let this condition go on if you will. At some day, perhaps remote, it will be a question always whether or not the solemnizing of matrimony in the North is between two descendants of our Anglo-Saxon fathers and mothers or whether it be of a mixed blood descended from the orangutan-trodden shores of far-off Africa.” That’s right, he wasn’t talking about gay marriage but interracial marriage and the year he introduced this legislation was 1921.

\n

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

\n", "date_published": "2005-07-13T19:09:52+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/07/13/gay-swedish-fiction.html", "tags": ["Indiana","MyStory","LGBTQ","USPolitics","Religion","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/06/16/truth-is-bad.html", "title": "TRUTH IS BAD!", "content_html": "

A youth opinion writer for the Indianapolis star wrote recently that

\n
\n\"Howard Dean’s recent comment generalizing the GOP as 'pretty much a white, Christian party' was both untimely and ill-advised.\" and that \"The greatest prospect for the Democratic Party to win the 2008 presidential election is its potential to exploit the flaws of the Bush administration. Repetition of the issues, however, and not mindless name-calling, is the key to Democratic victory.\"
\n

I responded with the following:

\n

Mindless name-calling? Is it suddenly a mudslinging to speak the truth?

\n

44 of 3,643 Republicans serving in state legislatures across the country are minorities. For those of you into percentages that’s about 1.2%. In Washington, 274 of the 535 elected Senators and Representatives are Republican… 5 are minorities (2%).

\n

Howard Dean simply spoke the truth…. This type of comment is similar to the rhetoric of the Right that demonized John Kerry for pointing out that Dick Cheney’s daughter was a lesbian. Somehow its become controversial to speak truth.

\n \n", "date_published": "2005-06-16T01:51:22+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/06/16/truth-is-bad.html", "tags": ["Indiana","Elections","MyStory","LGBTQ","USPolitics","Religion","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/06/15/they-fired-me.html", "title": "They Fired Me Because I Hate Queers", "content_html": "

Two former members of the Indianapolis Star’s editorial board, James Patterson and Lisa Coffey, have claiming the Star discriminated against them based on their religious views. James Patterson said “This is America. We have the right, under the first amendment, to express those views. At a newspaper, which has had a conservative voice for years and years and years, our argument is we should be allowed to express those views without being persecuted.”

\n

Persecuted? Christians in the Sudan have been persecuted for their religious views. I think Mr Patterson needs an education on what persecution is. An opinion writer does have the right to SAY what ever they like but the paper has no legal duty to publish it. Furthermore, the Star has no legal obligation to keep a Christian on staff just because of their religious affiliation.

\n

Mr Patterson went on to say that “The Star not only discriminated against me, but they actually have waged a campaign people with strong Christian beliefs. Both of us were editorial board members and we should have the right.” “We should have the right to express our religious views, especially as opinion writers. That’s what opinions are for right?”

\n

It’s ironic that fundamentalist Christians are running around crying about employment discrimination yet they were the main opponents of Prop 68 (which would have banned employment and housing discrimination).

\n

read more

\n", "date_published": "2005-06-15T15:42:46+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/06/15/they-fired-me.html", "tags": ["Indiana","MyStory","Religion","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/06/09/addressing-homelessness-a.html", "title": "Addressing Homelessness: A Call for Community Action", "content_html": "

Today I read an article by Rishawn Biddle of the Indianapolis Star’s Editorial staff concerning the need for action by our Mayor, Bart Peterson.

\n

He said:

\n

“Then a walk up Delaware Street reminded me that the gathering of ne’er do wells that usually keep themselves to the corner of the Wheeler Mission now claim the other side of the street – just outside the parking lot of the Regions Bank tower – for their very own.

\n

Oh joy.

\n

The woman in gray house dress and clear shower cap yapping about something or another while sitting back in a lawnchair. The half naked middle ager exposing his faded shoulder tattoo for the world to detest. The two able bodied men at horseplay. Lovely.

\n

If a fully stocked beverage cooler was in sight, they would have been in bum heaven. Thankfully there wasn’t.

\n

Proof again that IPS isn’t the only thing in town in need of a good scrubbing. So here’s some advice for Mayor Peterson: Clean it up”

\n

I commented the following:

\n

Walking past the mission as I do every night on my way to work and in the morning as I return from work, I’ve experienced those “bums” of which you speak. Living at 412 N. Alabama St., these “bums” live, exist, and congregate in my neighborhood. I could easily own your crass viewpoint of my neighbors. But as a transsexual and a member of the GLBT community I’ve seen how the simple act of living every day life can be difficult. Mitch Daniels (Indiana Governor), Bart Peterson (Indianapolis Mayor), or Brian Bosma (Indiana Speaker of the House) can help make things better through legislation but they shouldn’t be looked to to fix the problem. Instead of pointing the finger at Bart Peterson maybe you and I should grab a bucket and start scrubbing.

\n

\n", "date_published": "2005-06-09T06:43:31+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/06/09/addressing-homelessness-a.html", "tags": ["Indiana","Transgender","MyStory","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/04/25/for-the-love.html", "title": "For The Love of Christ", "content_html": "

It was brought to my attention yesterday that a few members of the GLBT community had emailed the fifth district city council member Ginny Cain, concerning Prop 68 (the Indianapolis Human Rights ordinance). She said:

\n
\n\"I will always discriminate against unhealthy addictive behaviors.\"\n

“Most importantly, I love Jesus because He gave His all for me, and so I will give my all for Him in honoring why He created sex to be within the boundaries of heterosexual marriage. He came to rescue us from our unhealthiness/sins. I will vote NO!”

\n

“It is never helpful to condone and justify someone’s unhealthy chosen addiction. Homosexuality is an addiction to unhealthy sexual behavior. It can be overcome with proper treatment. Check out Exodus International for confirmation of this.”

\n

“The Bible is clear that sex was created and intended within the confines of heterosexual marriage. It is meant to mirror our relationship to our Creator. Who would want to pervert that? Satan… is the author of sin. Jesus came to overcome sin’s power over us so that we can live and live abundantly! He came to rescue us…not condemn us. Thus, we need to help those who are entrapped in any kind of unhealthy lifestyle. I will never support something that is meant\nfor destruction of human beings and our civilization."

\n

Prop 68 isn’t about marriage. Even if one wants to make this about marriage, the logic still doesn’t fly. The standard line put forth by fundamentalist Christians is that it is the responsibility of the government to codify and support the growth of strong families through civil marriage. Is marriage strictly a matter of reproduction? I have experienced being in a heterosexual marriage and I’d venture to say that most heterosexual couples marry because they are “in love”, not to reproduce. In our modern day society, reproduction is seen as an\noutgrowth of the love within a marriage, not the other way around. These so called “shotgun marriages” (marriages that come about from pregnancy) are looked on with distained within present day society.

\n

I do understand where Councilor Cain is coming from though. I have a very traditional history, before coming out transgender. I was raised to believe that gays and lesbians were promiscuously fractured adults that were stunted in their psychological development. I believed that homosexuals couldn’t love a same sex partner the way I loved my wife. Unfortunately my beliefs were built to support my own fears and self hatred. My observations were based on ignorance and lacked any real life exposure. They were simply constructs to fit my beliefs. I believe that Mrs. Cain suffers from much the same thing. Luckily I’ve been educated by others.

\n

Saturday night I had one such “education.” I attended a silent auction (held for Rock Indiana Campaign for Equality) during the IndyIndie event at Jesus MCC church. Jan Williams and her partner Val also attended the auction/show. I’ve worked with Jan on the two dollar bill campaign but I’ve never seen them in a social setting. Seeing them interact together, their love for each other was obvious. I came to learn that Jan and Val have been in a committed relationship for 15 years. I began to survey the room and observed many couples that emitted this same kind of light that is given off by a couple that shares a deep love for one another. Such relationships are testaments of commitment that gays and lesbians live every day. It’s obvious to me today that Jan and Val’s love for each other isn’t one borne out of promiscuity or any other kind of unhealthy behavior, but borne out of love.

\n

I lived and observed the “heterosexual Christian lifestyle” that Miss Cain, advocates. Since coming to terms with my transsexuality I’ve also been exposed to many flavors of family from within the GLBT community. The most ironic of observations is that I’ve felt more of “Christ’s love” from with the GLBT community, than from self professed Christians. They’re too busy being Pharasitical in their damnation to fulfill Christ’s ultimate mission of love. Jesus never spoke about homosexuality. His ministry was centered on love, not laws.

\n

Christian “family values” should be based on Christ’s admonishment to “Love one another, as I have loved you.” Christian fundamentalists can spout 1 Corinthians 6:9 from memory, but can they do the same with Romans 13:8? (“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.") Jesus repeatedly broke the laws of within the Jewish faith. He did it for reasons of love. His message was transparent. It was a message that love trumps the law. Marriage isn’t a contract (or covenant) of pregnancy. When two people marry they take a vow “to love and comfort,” to “honor and keep in sickness and in health”, to\n“forsake all others,” and to “be faithful as long as both shall live.” The standard of marriage is one of love, not an ability to bring forth children. Marriage is not a covenant of child production, but of love.

\n

Whatever Councilor Cain argues, it’s obvious that it doesn’t come from a position of love, and certainly not from any kind of “agape” or spiritual love. Prop 68 isn’t about marriage. It isn’t about sex. It’s about having some human compassion and understanding for your fellow man. It’s about not sanctioning hatred of another human being. Mrs. Cain’s fundamentalist ranting misses the boat. If she wants to speak of Christ’s love, then she needs to start showing some consistency in her own words and deeds. Can she love another, as Christ loved her, by denying another human being their most basic civil rights?

\n", "date_published": "2005-04-25T14:59:14+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/04/25/for-the-love.html", "tags": ["Indiana","Transgender","MyStory","Religion","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/03/23/hate-in-constitution.html", "title": "Hate In Constitution One Step Closer", "content_html": "

Tuesday evening the Indiana House of Representatives passed Senate Joint Resolution 7 by a vote of 76 to 23. The measure was passed by the Senate earlier in the month and now must be passed by a separately elected legislature before it can be put on the ballot. The earliest the measure could make it onto the ballot is 2008.

\n

Shortly after the vote, a small group of protesters gathered outside the State House. Marti Abernathey said “I came out because our legislators need to know that regardless of weather or the time of day, we will make our voices heard.”

\n

Later on the protest moved to Monument Circle. Patrons of the Columbia Club seemed shocked and dismayed that their establishment was in earshot of the protest. Pepper Partin said “Many folks who obviously held government positions entered and exited while we were there. Some gave thumbs up and others looked a little like deer in headlights. I think many exiting the Columbia Club were a little startled by our presence.”

\n

Although disappointed with the vote, protester Kevin Gaither said “There is much time; there is much hope; there is so much to be done. I only hope the GBLT community of Indiana can come together in this dark time to produce a light of hope for all the GBLT youth of Indiana. They are the ones this type of legislation damages the most. Legislated hatred and bigotry is the lowest form of politics.”

\n", "date_published": "2005-03-23T17:12:46+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/03/23/hate-in-constitution.html", "tags": ["Activism","Indiana","Transgender","MyStory","LGBTQ","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2005/02/02/nervous.html", "title": "Nervous....", "content_html": "

Well, I went in the Indiana Statehouse for the first time in my life. And who stepped through those doors? Marti. It’s wierd to be in a space as a female that I have never been in as a male.

\n

I was nervous as hell at first because it was a press conference and I have mild social anxiety anyhow. As soon as we got into the room where the press conference was to be held and that all washed away. Chris Douglas, a local gay Republican, got up and really pegged a knot in the Indiana Senate’s ass. I’ve never seen him so hot under the collar. It was a great performance to the media.

\n

I came home and slept… then coded the website some….then slept…zzzzzzzzzz and my alarm doesn’t go off….zzzzzzz wake up and what time is it? 9:05pm. FUCK my bus comes in …15 minutes!!! So I hall balls ..change clothes and run out the door. I had to run to make the bus, if that tells you how close I was to missing the bus. Sooooooooooooo, I made it to the bus…and got to work OK.

\n

SMELL ALERT while I took a shower this AM, I feel icky. Damn running for the bus! Damn warm coat!

\n", "date_published": "2005-02-02T08:47:54+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2005/02/02/nervous.html", "tags": ["Activism","Indiana","Media","MyStory","LGBTQ","USPolitics","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2004/09/08/my-weekend.html", "title": "My weekend", "content_html": "

Sorry for not posting of late. I read a couple days back, but I can’t read back far enough to get caught up. If you have had something major happen, post a link to the url and I will make sure to read.

\n

The reason I haven’t posted is because of something you may have read about on this LJ. The gubernatorial race here is very tight and the Republican candidate agreed to meet with the GLBT community to discuss his position. You can read about the drama here. This drama caused me to have to stay home on Saturday and write.

\n

Sunday I had a meeting with INTRAA and then after the meeting we played poker. I suck at Poker. I had a great time though, and am really happy that I am finding people that I connect with. Lori, Evan, Rhys, really make me feel accepted and normal. Many people talk about finding a place they feel comfortable in, a community. I feel this way with the trans community in Indy.

\n

Monday I spent working all day and when I got home I continued to dialog with Christian about the Democrat fiasco.

\n

Tuesday, I actually got to attend the meeting with the Republican candidate for Governor. It was really a bold step for him to meet with us and at least explain where he stands on things. I may vote for him, I am still very undecided. I think my vote sways on if he supports amending the civil rights law of indiana to include gender identity and sexual orientation.

\n", "date_published": "2004-09-08T11:41:38+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2004/09/08/my-weekend.html", "tags": ["Activism","Indiana","Transgender","MyStory","USPolitics","Religion","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2004/06/22/my-trip-to.html", "title": "My trip to the Zoo/White River Gardens", "content_html": "

Omg…the flowers at White River Gardens are breathtaking.\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Then I went to the Indianapolis Zoo which is right next to the Gardens.

\n\n

This pic made me think of the Patriot Act and what it has done to the privacy and personal rights.\n

\n\n

This little one made me think of what it must be like to be imprisoned in a place that isnt your home.\n

\n

Thats bull!\n

\n

So ya, the zoo and the garden were fun….but they would have been better had the kids been with me. I long for them soooo much.

\n", "date_published": "2004-06-22T09:21:44+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2004/06/22/my-trip-to.html", "tags": ["Photos","Indiana","MyStory","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2004/06/13/pride-extravaganza.html", "title": "Pride Extravaganza!", "content_html": "

My Friend

\n

Lexy from Boston came into Indy on Friday night. I met her out at the airport, then took her back to the apartment. I had to work, so I showed her the apartment, then went to work.

\n

Cafe\nIn the morning we went to a nearby cafe called “The Yellow Canary.”

\n\n

Then we proceeded to prance over to pride. We caught a bit of the parade….

\n\nand then jetted over to the actual festival.\n

Of course no pride would be complete without drag queens…..\n

\n

I started to pass out flyers with information about the HRC and their sponsorship of non-inclusive hate crimes legislation, all the while they pretend to advocate for us. The response from most people was great!

\n\nHow straight do I look here? OMFG :)\n\n

The HRC people gave me that “Oh god!! The Jehovah’s Witnesses are at my door!!” look. Oh fucking well.

\n

I went over to the INTRAA booth for a bit of a visit.\n

\n\nI met Bree there.... omg.. um... she's cute, and very articulate too.\nI also saw the founders of INTRAA, Bryan and Lori Sirtosky.\n\nTG folk around the state owe these two a lot. They have put a lot of time and effort into building INTRAA into what it is today.\n

Indy Boyz were also at pride. These two pics I got are both from F2M’S AND ARE PRICELESS!

\n\n\n

Then Lexy and I went to the mall, then back home. She got ready to go to her High School reunion, then she left :( . She was a lot of fun!

\n

Went to work and worked 12hrs……. then came home.

\n

:) Long weekend!

\n", "date_published": "2004-06-14T00:38:33+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2004/06/13/pride-extravaganza.html", "tags": ["Photos","Indiana","MyStory","LGBTQ","Religion","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2004/06/08/oldfieldslilly-house-amp.html", "title": "Oldfields-Lilly House \u0026amp; Gardens", "content_html": "

Last October 17th was my 36th birthday, and it’s a long story…but that day I was felt very depressed. I had just met supersarah5 and she knew how shitty I was feeling on my birthday…so we went out to Oldfields-Lilly House & Gardens . While I had been to the Indianapolis Museum of Art with Deborah, I hadn’t ever been to the Lilly House. It is on the same acreage, but since it is wooded and the house is secluded, I never saw it. On that day with Sarah, the gardens and the elegant beauty of the landscaping filled my heart and calmed my mind. (While Sarah and I aren’t as close as we were then, I will always cherish that day. Thanks Sarah!)

\n

Sunday morning, I got the itch to go back out to the grounds. Armed with my camera, I walked around….

\n\n\nThis was from the back of the house. The top of the garage is like a backyard...\n\nYou can see the White River and the canal from there. The view is awesome....\n\"view.jpg\"\n

I walked through the gardens…\n

\n\n\n\n

And the flowers…omg

\n\n\n\n

And of course I ended up touring the house…

\n\n(I loved seeing my reflection, for two reasons. One, my shape has really changed. You can see the curves of my hips and thighs. Secondly, I cut a smaller reflection. I�m not anywhere near my goal but it's nice to see I'm getting close.)\n\n\n

This was the very last image I took…..\n

\n

If you want to see all my pics I took see them in my gallery. I loved the house so much that I am going to volunteer to work there a couple shifts a week. All in all, the little field trip rejuvenated me and has put me in a better frame of mind.

\n", "date_published": "2004-06-08T03:55:26+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2004/06/08/oldfieldslilly-house-amp.html", "tags": ["Photos","Indiana","MentalHealth","MyStory","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2004/05/30/parade.html", "title": "500 parade", "content_html": "

Cinnamon and I walked down to the Indianapolis 500 Parade. I took a bunch of pics….

\n\nHe looks hot, she just looks dim. :)\n\nI wish someone would have told me that President Bush was gonna be in the parade.\n\nSabrina, you need to zap some decent clothes on your boy.... did he just get paroled?\n


Governor Kernan.

\n\nMorgan Freeman\n\nmore Morgan\n\nPurdue Marching Band\n\nRupert from Survivor\n\nTalk about gays in the military..... :)\n


Gooooooollly! I wonder if Jim Nabors (of Gomer Pyle fame) and his lover were married in San Francisco or Mass. ? Did Jim take a new name??

\n

Fun times!

", "date_published": "2004-05-30T05:53:42+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2004/05/30/parade.html", "tags": ["Indiana","MyStory","USPolitics","Midwest","Music"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2003/03/06/a-year.html", "title": "A Year", "content_html": "

Its getting close to a year of me not seeing you. N- Mom told me that you no longer want to speak to me. I understand that you must be very mad at me. I hope some day you can see how hard all this has been for me. I didnt just decide one day that I wanted to switch my gender. Being a transsexual is the last thing that I wanted in my life. Only problem with that is that is who I am. If there is one hope I have for you it is that you can come to terms with who you are, at a young age, and without reservation. I denied who I am at heart, for years… and I am paying the price for it.

\n

D- Honey I think of you every day. I am back in Indiana, because I think being here offers me the best chance to see you guys again. The only thing I’m guilty of, is finally accepting who I am. Apparently some people think you cant handle ME, and that my transsexuality might somehow harm you or cause embarrassment to you.

\n

T- I miss talking to you. You are one of the most intelligent, bright young minds I know. Pretty funny too, almost as funny as I. Your courage and strength is amazing. You will always be in my blood, even though you are not from it.

\n

My love and thoughts to you all

\n", "date_published": "2003-03-06T09:56:00+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2003/03/06/a-year.html", "tags": ["Monument","Indiana","Transgender","MyStory","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2003/01/15/running-away-a.html", "title": "Running Away... A Lesson Learned", "content_html": "

 As a young boy not quite eight years old, I set off to run away from home. My mother had made me eat cole slaw and forbid me to watch my favorite superhero, Wonder Woman. I had had enough, so I started packing. I found my mom’s curler carrier. It was one of those hard brown leather cases with the mirror attached to the top. With my mom’s curler box emptied of all her plastic curlers, I replaced them with all my Star Wars action figures, my Evil Kenevil and Fonzie dolls, and a few other prized possessions. I fixed a PB&J sandwich, and then hit the door running.

\n

I was so upset with my mother for forcing me to eat that nasty slaw. As I walked towards the drainage ditch, it hit me. Who would feed me? Where would I sleep? How would I get to school? I sat at the ditch and ate my PB&J and contemplated my future. I realized, even as a small child, that I was running from problems that weren’t as large as the ones I was running to. 

\n

That episode happened 27 years ago. That boy at the drainage ditch isn’t quiet a boy anymore. He isn’t even a man. That boy is a woman, or at least she is on her way.

\n

I had to go through an alcoholic father and his death at age 11, two divorces and custody battles and a long internal battle accepting my transsexuality. My second ex-wife, Lynn, denied my visitation when it was clear that I was transitioning and wasn’t going to hide it.

\n

Last year it became apparent that I wasn’t going to be allowed to see my kids. I sank further and further into a horrid depression. I didn’t leave the house for weeks. One Sunday, I put my resume on Monster.com and came home to 15 calls from recruiters. One call was from the DC area. The recruiter connected me to a job not far from DC in Fredericksburg, VA. In an all too familiar scenario, I packed a suitcase and flew to DC to interview.

\n

The interview went great, and I rushed a move. I threw my sound equipment, computers and my clothes in my rented 2002 Mustang and drove away from Indiana feeling free. The company paid for everything, and finally my life seemed to be leveling out again…or so I thought. The $4,000 sign on bonus turned out to be $2,600 after taxes. My recruiter forced me into buying a car from them. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t pass Maryland inspection, and I was somehow coned into a lemon. So goes my second attempt to runaway.

\n

Again, my world was beginning to unravel. The only difference was I was 600 miles from my kids and I left any support network that I had, back in Indiana. Waves and waves of questions hit me. How would I work things out from 600 miles away? Why did I move so quickly? Did I leave people that love me to run away from the greatest pain in my life? There’s no drainage ditch close to my apartment, and I no longer eat PB&J’s, but the questions hit me just as hard.

\n

My life is different, but not any better. Running away to Washington DC hasn’t solved any of my problems. Like that little boy standing at the drainage ditch, I have realized I need to go back and face my problems…not run from them. No one else is going to solve my problems for me. If I don’t, no one will. My heart hurt so badly at the trauma of my divorce and the ensuing drama that began once my transition was announced. Sticking my head in the sand isn’t going to get me any closer to transitioning fully, having FFS or SRS, or gaining closure to this part of my life.

\n

As a child, I swallowed my pride, and walked back into the house and learned to live under my moms rule. As an adult, im moving back to Indiana to deal with the issues I buried when I left. Lynn has agreed to working on a resolution to seeing the kids, but that can only go forward if I move back. I have made contacts within the t-community in Indiana and hope to help them lobby local politicians for trans-inclusive legislation. I will continue to do my radio show “The T-Party” and write. The difference from before the move will be in my outlook and attitude. Some lessons really are worth learning twice.\n 

\n", "date_published": "2003-01-15T09:17:33+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2003/01/15/running-away-a.html", "tags": ["Indiana","Family","Transgender","Podcast","MentalHealth","MyStory","LGBTQ","Fediverse","Midwest"] }, { "id": "http://marti-abernathey.micro.blog/2002/10/21/living-monument.html", "title": "Living Monument", "content_html": "

This is my living monument to my children. Im not sure how you wandered here….but if your one of my children…I love you. Read on.

\n

This is a place for me to post info and thoughts for my kids….as I cannot see them anymore. My simple crime is being a transsexual….In Indiana I guess that is a strong enough crime to warrant you not to see your own flesh and blood. I have done nothing wrong….and will continue to fight ….

\n", "date_published": "2002-10-22T00:13:00+01:00", "url": "https://martiabernathey.com/2002/10/21/living-monument.html", "tags": ["Monument","Indiana","Family","Transgender","MyStory","Midwest"] } ] }