The Pressure to Date is Off

For many years I thought I needed someone else to make me whole. Someone to “complete me.” I’ve tried many ways to find that completeness, but sometimes the cliché is the truth. The easy truth is sometimes the hardest to actualize/realize/deal with.

Ultimately I realized that I never needed anything outside my own acceptance, my own love, and my own respect. Do I want those things from other people? Yes. Do I need them to be complete? Hardly.

But saying that doesn’t mean I want to be alone. It means I can be, and that’s ok. I had a recent bout of loneliness that came over me quickly and pressed down on me like an imploding house. But even in that, the above realization was always with me. I’m at a point in my life where my needs and wants are clearly defined. It helps to know the difference, especially when I get lonely. Filling that void in my life is a want, not a need. That is such a relief/weight lifted, I can’t even explain it enough for one to understand the gravity it implies.

  • By Melanie Davis, December 23, 2009 @ 4:39 pm

    It’s so good to read these words from you. You’re absolutely right!

    The boys down at the truck stop are going to be mighty disappointed, though.

  • By Samanthaq, January 4, 2010 @ 11:29 pm

    She can so totally do better than the boys at the truck stop if she wants to, that’s a no brainer. I am however glad to see you realize Marti that there is more to life than being part of a set. Took my a very, very long time to figure that out myself, but I’m so glad I did! You are spot on, we need to love ourselves, and figure out the rest later. I’m fact something that I’ve learned is that if I don’t love & respect myself at least as much as I’m willing to invest in someone else, then I’m doing no-one any good.

    Hang in there Chica, we all still think you’re awesome!

  • By admin, January 4, 2010 @ 7:16 pm

    🙂 Thanks. I’m glad I finally got to this point.

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